Falling Nightmares

stop thinking about it try to do you r usual routione as much as possible.

Webner House

Normally I don’t remember my dreams. Since I’ve started using crutches, however, I’ve started to have vivid nightmares about falling.

If you accept the standard explanation of dreams — that they are a kind of post-day brain dump, when the conscious brain is out of it and the subconscious brain riffles through the images of the day just ended — my falling dreams shouldn’t come as a surprise. I know that I can’t put weight on my left foot, because it would painfully bend the steel pins in my toes and make them harder to extract. So, even something routine, like a short trip to the bathroom, becomes a cause for careful attention and concern about a slip and fall.

But there’s more to it. I scrabble up the stairs on hands and knees, dragging the crutches up the stairs with me, then use a chair at the top of…

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Unhappily Housebound At Springtime

take care.

Webner House

IMG_0422 There’s a reason why the phrase “spring fever” exists.

It’s because people desperately want to get outside after a long, cold winter. They want to smell the faint fragrance of spring flowers wafting on the warming air. They want to shed their overcoats and feel the sun on their faces. They want to walk on springy green grass, see flowering trees bloom, and listen carefully for the return of songbirds and ducks that had flown south for the winter.

That’s why it especially sucks to be laid up and crutch-dependent when spring rolls around. Today the temperature in Columbus actually reached the upper 50s. I look outside the window of my study and feel like the boy in the bubble. The pins in my toes cannot be removed fast enough!

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Getting The Dear Leader’s Haircut

Webner House

There are conflicting reports from North Korea about whether men have been ordered to get a haircut that matches the styling of the Dear Leader, Kim Jong-Un. Some websites are reporting the story as the truth; others are saying it’s a hoax.

Either way, the story is getting a lot of play — primarily because the Dear Leader’s haircut is so distinctive. The hair on the sides of the head, around and above the ears, is shaved down to the bare scalp. Then, some kind of industrial lubricant is liberally applied to the hairs on top of the head to give them a deep sheen and allow them to be combed straight back and parted in the middle. The awkward result looks something like a wet plastic mat covering part of a cue ball. It’s a look you’d expect to see in a prison or a mental institution.

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The Science Of Bad Dancing

pls don’t breakdance.

Webner House

From the teenage years forward, every modern male is bedeviled by the same nagging question: how do I dance without looking like a spastic imbecile?

John Travolta may be the only man alive who is truly confident in his dancing abilities. Most other guys are worried that their attempt at a cool dancing persona in reality mirrors the humiliating leg-kicking, arm-jerking efforts of Elaine on Seinfeld. And, if you’ve seen your average guy on the dance floor, you know that those worries are painfully well-founded.

Fortunately, science now offers an answer. Researchers have studied how women respond to dance floor moves, using neutral, genderless depictions of dancing figures in an attempt to take personal looks out of the equation. The results are surprising. It turns out that women like large movements of the head, neck and torso, as well as quick movements that involve bending the right knee…

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